Just Dan Grant

Have you ever played this game? It can be fun, and awkward all at the same time. Here’s how to play: A group of people get in a circle of sorts, and one by one, the players announce “never have I ever —” and declare something they have never done. You can go really generic like “never have I ever – gotten a pedicure” and all those who have gotten a pedicure lose a point. Or you can get really specific and personal, like “never have I ever, accidentally shaved an eyebrow off” and that one friend you know who had a lapse in judgment loses a point. It’s pretty fun. Good quarantine activity.

I have honestly only ever played this game a few times. I usually did well in the game – probably because there was a lot I hadn’t done as a kid. I was thirteen or fourteen the first time I went to an amusement park. Seventeen when I went to Disney for the first time. I was an older teen when I flew for the first time. Not that I had an uneventful childhood, there were just things we didn’t want to do and things we didn’t have money to do.

But there were things we did do all the time. Things that were a consistent part of our lives and we just knew that they were going to happen unless there were dire circumstances.

Like going to church. We always went to church. Always. We never missed. There were weeks where we drove over an hour and across state lines to get to church. During that time, we would eat lunch at a church member’s house, hang out until the evening service, then head home. Throughout my childhood, if the stomach bug hit our house, and one of the parents were still functioning – they loaded up the non-puking kids and we went to church. It was pretty much considered a sin to miss church. Ever.

My parents always served. My dad was either a deacon, counting the offering, working on the church’s computers, or playing an instrument. My mother almost always got wrangled into serving in the nursery, and by default, I would too. If there was something going on, we were there to help. As teens, while we were homeschooled, the Pastor or Assistant Pastors could call my mother, at any time of the day, and ask for the Grant boys to come help at the church and she would gladly volunteer us. There were even times we had to ride our bikes up to the church because she couldn’t drive us there. Hey, it was only a few miles.

Through my teen years I ate, slept, and breathed all things church. In college, preparing for the ministry, we were interns at church and leading christian service ministries. During the summer, I worked at a church and was there every Sunday, Wednesday, and at random points throughout the week. Once I graduated, I took two weeks off (because I didn’t have a job until two weeks later), and drove up to the great state of Maryland and began working for and serving in – you guessed it – a church. Thirteen years have gone by since then and most of my time is spent at church.

And never, have I ever, missed church so much.

I think we would all agree that church has changed a lot recently. And for once it has nothing to do with the music. Two Sundays ago we saw a attendance restriction of two-hundred and fifty or less. Last Sunday we were completely online. On the first Wednesday of the month, we had over one-hundred teens in attendance for our Thrive night. Last Wednesday night, we were online and our teens tuned in via Facebook and our website. Our ministry went from on-site to online in just a few days. Handshakes went to fist bumps and then don’t touch me at all – please and thank you. Social gatherings turned into social distancing. Our entire ministry turned upside down.

I have quickly discovered this week that the fellowshipping with the body of believers – the assembling of ourselves together – the worship with the saints has become such an integral part of who I am, that without the weekly physical interaction, it’s just not life anymore. Everything has changed so much, and there is so much speculation as to when it will resume, it makes me wonder if there will be a new normal? It makes me realize one important truth in all of this:

Never, have I ever, placed such a premium on relationships with my brothers and sisters in Christ.

I am so used to seeing people Sunday and Wednesday, and some Monday through Friday, that those interactions were the foundations and substance of our relationship. Remove those – and it’s like everyone moved away all at once. Teenagers who would stop by my office, or be in youth group on a regular basis – poof. Now everything is digital. It’s a text. A Facebook video. The platform of Social Media, which I believe to actually cause more issues than it’s worth, is now my main connection with a people group that I was fist-bumping and high-fiving two weeks ago.

Can I just say, that the minute we are allowed together again, I will probably cry. Like real tears. Like Hallmark Christmas movie tears. Like taco buffet tears. It will be a tear-filled cry-fest for sure.

This event has made me realize that never, should I ever, take relationships for granted again. I would hope that we all would make some effort to refocus our priorities when we can get back to some sense of “normal” again. So a couple of action items for me and anyone else who finds themselves hurting for friendship and social interaction right now:

• They aren’t dead. Seriously – these people still exist – so instead of sulking in the basement and waiting for the sun to return and the restrictions to be lifted, call them! FaceTime them! Send them an actual letter in the actual mailbox. Shoot a friend a text and ask them how they are doing and what you can be praying for. They need it!
• Learn from the lean times. Once things return to whatever normal they return to, make face to face social interaction a priority. I have often said to many families – “As soon as we have time, we will get together.” How about we make the time to get together! As empty as my schedule is now, I can’t imagine filling it back to the brim again with no room for relationships.
• Assemble together. I really don’t know how folks without a church home survive on a day to day basis. No church is perfect – I think that’s why it’s described as the body of Christ. It is a living, breathing organism that, much like our physical bodies, is full of imperfections. But everybody needs a body, and I can’t wait to be within that body of believers again.

I would dare say that we will survive this time of life. We will survive, recover, and move forward. But if you survive and move forward without a moment of introspection or some different resolutions as a result of this time, you are missing out on an opportunity to approach life differently.

Praying for my family, each of my friends, and our leadership during this time!